Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

This week we talked about some pretty personal confidential information. We discussed the differences in the sexual response cycle for a man and a woman. Most of us have heard the idea that men are like microwaves and women are like ovens but most of us don't stop and think about how those very observable differences can cause problems in marriage. One thing that was said in class that I really liked was that these differences give us the ability to serve each other and overcome our own selfish nature. I think that is very true and when we take the time to make sure the needs of our spouse are met they will reciprocate. We transitioned into talking about the different types of infidelity that can occur in a relationship. Most of us are aware of the sexual affair because we see it all over the media constantly. Some of the well less known forms of infidelity are: Fantasy Affairs,
Visual Affairs, and Romantic Affairs. Fantasy affairs occur when you fantasize about a fictional character or a real person who is unaware that you are doing that. In a marriage this can cause great harm because you don't want your partner fantasizing they are with someone else when they are doing stuff with you. The visual affair involves viewing pornography and can cause great problems because the images are digitally created to look perfect which is not reality. A romantic affair is sharing sexual thoughts as well as a deep emotional connection with someone other than your spouse. Knowing all these forms of infidelity exist will help me to be more aware of my actions when I am married. We talked about ways to combat infidelity and for me it all converged with the principle of appropriate boundaries. When you start sharing something inappropriate with your opposite sex co-worker you are breaking boundaries and that leads down a dark road. It was really interesting to think how seemingly small things like carpooling with a member of the opposite sex can led to a sexual or romantic affair not because that is what your intentions were starting out but because you broke boundaries like confiding in them or sharing problems you are having with your spouse. We also talked about what the research tells us about couples who experience infidelity. I was shocked to see that around 70% wanted to try and work things out and around 50% actually stayed together and said their marriage was stronger than before the infidelity. It is really comforting to know that each of us can repent and change and find forgiveness for such a hurtful act.