Culture, how to perpetuate the good and get rid of the bad.

This week we discussed a handful of different cultures that we are exposed to here in America. We talked about the cultural strengths and weakness's of Caucasians, African Americans, Hispanics, and Asians. We read a qualitative study about the experiences of ten Hispanic families who immigrated to America illegally and discussed the effects it had on their families. In class, we performed a role-play that re-created and acted out the study we read. This allowed us to put ourselves in the shoes of the people we read about and imagine what it might have felt like to go through their experiences. I volunteered to play the role of a teenage son who was 14 when my dad immigrated to America so he could get a job and save up enough money to then bring the rest of the family to America. There were also volunteers that played a mom, dad, aunt, uncle, cousin, sister, and grandparents. Our professor was a great facilitator and would describe what events were taking place within the family, but then he would ask each of us how we felt about the unfolding situations. This allowed us to actually feel, in a small way, what it would be like if we were really in that situation. As we worked our way through this experience it highlighted how family roles change dramatically in response to major life changes. In the study we read it explained that the main reason the families decided to immigrate to America was better education for their children which they perceived would give their children an advantage in life. The study found that they achieved this at a very steep cost. Because of how expensive it is to immigrate illegally the father might live here for years before he can afford to bring his family over. This caused all kinds of family challenges with his immediate and extended family he left behind. When he was finally able to get his family here the relationships between he and his wife and children had deteriorated because of the separation. Some of the other costs were that both the husband and wife had to work here in America because the cost of living is higher which led to them not being able to spend dinner together which was part of their culture in Mexico. In economics, this is what is called unintended consequences, things that resulted because of their lifestyle change that they weren't necessarily expecting. One of the things said in class was, "Wise people check their cultures" meaning that instead of just perpetuating a family or cultural experience you stop and analyze it and see why you are continuing it. Are you doing it solely because it is tradition or because it is beneficial to you in some way? I also really liked how it was said, "Unless we do something intentional about our culture and traditions we will end up doing things just like our parents." To me this meant as much as we say we don't want to incorporate the negative aspects of our familial upbringing into our own family unless we sit down and make a conscientious effort to identify the things we want to change and then work on them we will end up reverting back to what we know. We focused a lot on proper boundaries between different parts of the family and this is definitely something I have seen negatively affect me personally. When boundaries don't change when a child gets older it can lead to a very unhealthy relationship between parent and child as the child tries to go on with their own adult life. This is one of the reasons I love the idea and thought of going into counseling because I will be able to teach people the proper roles in different relationship settings so that they can live a happier and healthier life.