Gender Roles & Seeking to Understand Same Sex Attraction

This week we talked about two different subjects, gender roles and seeking to understand same-sex attraction. I want to write about each of these because I feel like they are each relevant to things currently in the news, as well as having a direct impact on lots of people's daily lives. Gender roles refer to the behavior associated with being male or female. I believe misunderstanding what your partners views on gender roles cause lots of marital problems even leading to divorce. If the man thinks the woman is supposed to do certain things that she doesn't do or vice versa then there is conflict. Gender roles are shaped through what we see in our own families as well as the societies we are raised in. If each of us is looking for someone to exhibit the gender roles we were raised around then this topic is something that needs to be talked about in dating. You should ask the person you are dating what gender roles her parents assumed, what role she is willing to assume, as well as what role she expects you to assume. By doing this, there are clear expectations established. One of my favorite quotes is, "All frustration comes from unmet expectations." I sincerely believe that is true and by defining what gender roles you and your spouse will play will decrease the probability of there being unmet expectations in your relationship. 

To transition to the topic of same-sex attraction let me start out by saying this was quite the touchy subject to talk about in class. The readings about this topic were very well put together and we read an article that debunked the biological argument. We all have heard via the news and through social media that people with same-sex attraction are born that way and it turns out that is just not the case. The studies they say back up the biological arguments are fault ridden and the authors of those studies have even themselves said their research is being misinterpreted. Of course, those statements haven't been popular with the news but nonetheless they are true. We watched a few videos about counselling for those who have those feelings but want to change and the biggest thing that struck me was that I might be responsible for not allowing people to change by my words and actions. One of the main emphasis's in this counselling was for those with same-sex attraction to be accepted by their same-sex peers. I know for myself that I have always struggled spending time and associating with those I felt were "gay" and that I've said my fair share of negative things around them. I learned this week that by doing that and not being accepting it is extremely harmful to those that are wanting to change and develop non-sexual relations with same sex peers. I learned that by not being willing to include them can be one of the forces that drive them to make that lifestyle choice. I learned a lot more than these few things, but I have such short time to write about them so I will end on that note. Feel free to comment if you would like to know more about any of the issues and topics I discuss.